Date: 21 October 1998
Style: Black Card Art
Size: 22cm x 30cm
"Keeper of Shadows" came along at the end of drawing the Symbiosis series. That, coupled simultaneously with the abrupt end of my career and marriage left me emotionally and physically wasted.
I was still obsessed with all that had passed before me, and unable to grasp that I was alive when everyone I loved was dead, so essentially Keeper of Shadows is a self portrait, ie I am the Keeper of Shadows.
In this piece, I'm in the foreground stuck in "reality", and also at left in the background beyond a glass panel, which represents my afterlife beliefs – or my version of reality but untouchable in this life.
Through different panels of the glass, it is both day and night, representing that the passage of time is irrelevant when it comes to love. The mythical dress draws from tales of the Valhalla legends and also Christianity, which were two influences of my early teenage life. My friends beyond are reaching out for me to join them, and in reflection, I realise that I was trying to understand my daily death wish. This piece is unashamedly about contemplating suicide. I think that I may have been writing a suicide note through this drawing, but as is evident by my continued existence, that didn’t eventuate.
I believe wholeheartedly that my obsessive need to draw and write throughout 1998 is what kept me from going over the edge, so to me, all of these artworks are important.
If you like my paintings, you can find the full library on the Paintings & Drawings page.
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Have a brilliant day,