Preparing for your first Male Brazilian Wax
I've put together this list of questions that clients commonly ask.
First though, let's go through some tips for attending your Male Brazilian Wax treatment and what to do afterwards.
Men's Brazilian Waxing Tips - Before & After
- Dry or cracked skin tries to absorb the moisture from the wax, which can make the treatment more uncomfortable than it needs to be. Do yourself a massive favour and moisturise the area you are getting waxed on the day of your appointment.
- Wear loose fitting clothes to your treatment and avoid tight elastic that might chaff against your newly waxed skin. Cotton undies or cotton boxers are good, or just wear no undies at all. Avoid synthetics until your skin has returned to its normal state.
- Use a quality after-waxing lotion for at least a day after the treatment, and use it again when regrowth begins to appear. Your waxing studio should have one for around $10-15 which will last several treatments. Do not try to do it on the cheap and use general antiseptics or you will inflame your skin for weeks.
- Do not put pure tea tree oil on your skin after waxing. It will burn you. Yes, most after-wax lotions contain tea tree oil, but they are only around 0.5% strength maximum - Pure tea tree oil is 200 times the safe dosage.
- After a wax, avoid chlorine, saunas, hot tubs and any other sources of heat until your skin has calmed down.
- Salt is a natural antiseptic. If you live near the beach, a swim in salt water is great for the skin after waxing. You can also make a soothing saline wash with half a teaspoon of salt in a glass of warm water.
- Avoid colognes and antiperspirants until your skin has returned to normal.
- Do not exfoliate the waxed area for a week minimum. You will cause in-grown hairs.
- As regrowth comes through at about the 3 week mark, gently exfoliate each day then follow with your after-wax lotion.
- Waxing Treatments should be spaced 4 to 6 weeks apart. Your hair should be at least 5mm long for the wax to grip it.
Male Brazilian Waxing - Commonly Asked Questions
Will regular Brazilian Waxing make my hair come back thinner?
Yes, if you maintain it every 4 to 6 weeks. Beyond eight weeks, it will return to its previous thickness. Contrary to popular myth, waxing does not have a permanent effect on hair density.
Is Brazilian Waxing just something gay guys get done?
When I first started performing these treatments a decade and half ago, I would have said yes. Nowadays, the trend has completely reversed. Maybe 10% of my Brazilian Waxing client base is gay.
What does a Brazilian Wax treatment feel like?
Like many things, the first time is the worst time. That said however, it's not terribly painful, and any tenderness fades quickly. Again - yes I'm nagging - moisturise that morning and that makes a huge difference. Regular follow up treatments are much more gentler than the first, as the hair root doesn't have time to grow to its previous thickness.
A friend said that guys who get Brazilians are sickos because they look like young boys.
Sorry, but your friend is the one with issues. As a father of four largely sane offspring, I can assure you that the genitalia of a pre-pubescent child looks nothing like that of a waxed adult. And then there are the obvious differences of a person's size, height, physical appearance. Anyone who says that type of thing is harbouring dangerous kiddie fixations. Don't let them babysit.
If I get a Male Brazilian, will it increase sensitivity during sex?
Yes, amazingly. You'll be swinging from the chandelier. Your partner will love it too.
I'm worried my mates will find out I had a Men's Brazilian Wax and take the piss.
Let me tell you a story (I have a lot of anecdotes). For the past couple of years I've been based in country Queensland, in my home town of Rockhampton. In this part of the world, men are men and wrestle crocodiles. No time for that metrosexual big city stuff thanks. Well, at least that's the stereotype. Truth is I'm just as busy in Rocky as I ever was in Brisbane or Gold Coast. But despite this fact, the stereotype prevails.
There's a workplace on the southside of town, a nation-wide company that fixes heavy machinery - very blokey blokes - and for some reason, one by one, they started coming in for Brazilians around the same time.
It confused me because I doubted they were referrals because guys don't talk about this kind of stuff. And I was right - they weren't referrals. It turned out that the cause of this influx from one blokey workplace was an ad that I'd put on the radio, which by chance played throughout all the workshops where everyone could hear it.
These guys must have been scurrying about in secret writing down my phone number, because every one of them said "Please don't tell anyone I come here - My mates will take the piss." Meanwhile, unknown to each of them, all of their mates were coming in for a Brazilian Wax treatment as well.
The moral of this story? Guys are really dumb. Get over yourselves. It's fine to want smooth balls.
I'm going away for a few months and won't have time for my regular wax. Should I shave or clipper?
Use clippers. Just don't trim it too short before your next wax.
Do I need to buy a special exfoliating mitt for the regrowth?
No just a cheapie - Don't pay $20 for one of those yuppy mitts at the salon. Go to Woolworths and buy a pair for two bucks.
I've noticed it's mainly guys who perform Male Brazilian Waxing treatments. Why is this?
Because girls don't want to do them. The beauty industry is so amazingly sexist against men - you wouldn't believe how bad it is.
Salon owners can afford to be sexist because female clients spend a lot of money with them, so they don't really need men as clients.
Combine this with the fact that the beauty industry, including the colleges, is overrun by angry divorcees who hate men period. As a result, new beauty students are fed horror stories about men jerking off on the table and so on, so the precious young things don't want to have anything to do with us.
That aside, I've also noticed a new but big trend of prudishness amongst new graduates, who now don't even want to do women's Brazilians, let alone men. And that's pretty much why things are the way the are.
In the end, it falls to a handful of guys like me to do most of the Brazilian Waxing, and increasingly that includes women's waxing as well.
I only want a female therapist. How do I make sure I get one?
I'll let you in on a little industry secret. Ask that question and the alarm bells will go off immediately. Every salon owner in the world knows that when a guy rings up specifically asking for a female therapist to do his Brazilian, then he's one of three things; a sexually repressed but domineering arsehole, a homophobe, or a predator hoping to shoot his load while some innocent girl plays with his googlies.
There is no other feasible reason why a guy would 'need' a female therapist, and any of those factors makes him dangerous. For this kind of caller, whether the therapists on staff are female or male, you'll find that they don't have a booking space free.
I'm worried that I'll get aroused during my Brazilian Waxing treatment.
Don't stress. Some guys get boners, some don't. It's just adrenalin. I don't care either way, though a boner does make the skin nice and tight, which is easier to wax. However, if it really worries you, an easy fix is to imagine your grandmother giving you a lap dance.
I'm stressed that my waxing therapist will laugh at my junk.
Guys are really insecure about this kind of stuff nowadays. It's due to all the advertising about penis enlargements, erectile dysfunction, etc, which is all just marketing crap. So no, a therapist of any repute won't take the least notice. They are there to remove your hair, not judge you.
As a sidenote (another random anecdote), I will say that over the last 15 years, the image of only one guy's penis sticks in my memory. It was massive, beyond huge like a baby's arm, and had 12 thick Prince Albert piercings down its underside - one every inch - and under it, two duck-egg sized testicles like you wouldn't believe, and piercings in the scrotum as well. Its entire length was tattooed bright red with a dragon's head and two huge wings wrapping around the guys buttocks. The whole assembly was truly terrifying to behold, and I seriously doubt that any woman, man, or beast could have endured being this guy's lover. In hindsight though, the thing I keep wondering is whether all the piercings ever set off airport metal detectors.
Back to the topic at hand, if you're truly concerned about the size of your manhood or some such thing, I've written two related articles on the topic which will hopefully make you feel a bit better. You can read them on my anatomy blog: Penis Fallacies and Realities and Real Men Aren't Scared of their Balls.
What sort of clothing do I wear when I'm on the table.
None. Nada. Zip. Well a shirt and socks if you want. Beware of any waxing studio that makes you either where a pair of disposible undies or makes you hold your own skin tight. These practices are so common and dangerous, and both should be illegal.
Male genitalia has a lot of loose skin, and during waxing, it needs to be stretched firmly. I don't agree with the general practice in the industry that a male client has to hold his own junk tight, and nor that they should somehow do it through a fabric layer.
This is why so many guys get bruises and skin tears when they go to dodgy waxing studios. Ask if this is their practice when you book, and if it is, don't do it - Trust me on this; you will be in agony.
Will I have to get on hands and knees to get my balls waxed?
No. Unless your waxer is also a proctologist, this falls into the realm of weird. I can't believe how often guys ask me this, but no, I see no reason why your therapist would need you to bend over like a gimp.
Can I get a spray tan afterwards?
Do it once your skin has calmed down. You don't want to cause an infection.
What could prevent me having a treatment?
To save replication here, this link lists the possible reasons why you may not be able to receive a Male Brazilian Waxing treatment: Unisex Body & Brazilian Waxing Contraindications
So do I just ring a place and ask if they do a back, sack, and crack?
No, unless you want the therapist to think you're a complete bogan. Ask for a Male Brazilian.
How did you get into this weird profession?
It's a penance. In a previous life, I strangled a nun.
Have a brilliant day,